My External Demands

Today I went to the doctor with Sarah from Stepping Forward, to ask the doctor to write me a letter summarising all of my health issues and how the combination of them affects me. We wanted this for 2 things: PIP application and my upcoming court hearing. We wrote a draft letter with all the …

Best Yet

New Salvation Army personIs the best yetAnd I said that the previous time! From the first few sentencesI thought she's fully on the ballThen she even reassured me that, explicitly: "I'm fully on this, don't worry,I don't mess around,We'll do the CAF on Tuesday,I'm usually pretty cheeky with those,(Meaning she'll tell them to fuck up …

Lap Of The Gods

I forgot to mention that as well as having to start a new Launchpad application my Salvation Army support person is changing. 4th person in a year. And again it's happening just as my potential eviction date rushes upon me and having to get the Launchpad stuff done quickly. Communication has dried up. Just like …

The Noes Have It

Launchpad closed my case in February 😂. I have to get the council to re-refer me to them, and they'll arrange another assessment. Just like I did last October. I am getting a case of déja vu where back then I was registering with them ahead of my court hearing a month later, with them …

Bracing For The No

I phoned Launchpad earlier, to update them on my housing/court hearing situation, and to ask about the possibility of them putting me on the waiting list for a 1-bedroom place rather than a shared place now that I am closer to my 35th birthday. Since the council has only offered 2 viewings so far in …

Fear Of Conditionality

In the end I opened myself up even more and explained even more directly my paranoia of them becoming frustrated with me about me not being able to get stuff done, which as I'd mentioned was an irrational fear with the person I was dealing with, who is a natural empath. As irrational as I …

Dealing With Fear Of Gaslighting

I am so terrified of not being understood, and being blamed, when it comes to circumstances holding me back. Which at the moment are mainly my living environment and OCD, and how the living environment (including lack of daylight) makes dealing with and recovering from the OCD so much more difficult. I've been struggling for …

Finite Resource

Congratulations, You have completed all the thoughtsThere is nothing left to think; Save some thoughts for me, I'm sorryThere aren't any left, You selfish bastard! 🌪️

Transparency, Objectivity, Clarity

I'm going to sayI'm not minimising somethingWhen it's the entire point of my speech I'm going to use verbsWith cult-like associationsTo add fake authority to my words I'm going to pretendThat a different version of objective realityIs true; I don't need a translator, or education in body language, or even wisdom and experience to understand …

Changes Nothing

I have to rememberHow even in June last yearI was able to find those reasons to keep goingAnd I have to use the same ones nowAs I still await my fateOn where and when I will be housed; Two years of practical accommodation instabilityAlmost one year of actual, hardline instabilityBut the rules are the sameIt's …